Varr helped me administer fluids to Flower via the feeding tube. I was really nervous on this, but I got the food mixed and made sure it was warm. Because I have to mix the meds with two separate portions of food, I had some food ready in the syringe and another portion of food in a bowl. I started with 10 mL of water and then followed with the first portion of food, which was about 15 mL. Flower was pretty calm through most of this; she started to get a little unsettled toward the end of the first portion of food. After this portion was done I had to cap the tube and refill my syringe with the second portion. I administered this, but she was definitely getting more agitated at this point. After the second portion of food, I flushed the tube with just 5 mL of water. Finally, I administerd the amoxicillin via the tube and flushed with the last 10 mL of water. Varr sat with her and pet her while I cleaned up the supplies and she is still resting soundly. Her eyes are finally closed now, they seem to be often stuck in a half open state with an empty gaze straight ahead that is uninterested in the world. Sometimes, like this morning when she was up, I see that she is still full of life. And other times, like now, I wonder how much pain she really is in. Maybe I should just let her go. I hope more than anything right now that this feeding tube works and that she begins to regain some strength and lust for life (and food). I can't tell if she's so somber this evening because of the procedure today, but she just seems sick of everything and so dejected. I want to turn this around for her, but I can't let it take forever; this needs to happen soon, for her sake.
